I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
