Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
