I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
