Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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