??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
