no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
