Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize