You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish my penis had an off switch
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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