Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
