YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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