Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
