Apparently you make a good broom.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
