ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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