Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
