That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i will never coherently bang her
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
