So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
