Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize