Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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