Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
