I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
