She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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