You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
