Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
