yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
