She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
