Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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