I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
