I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
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