my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
