Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
