i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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