She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
two words...techno handjob
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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