We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
