I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize