I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize