So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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