Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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