When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Randomize