Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
