dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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