When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
