Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize