coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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