Don't make out with my wife yet
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
