i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
