Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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