Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
