Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
