Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I deserve this hangover.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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