did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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