My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
