I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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