there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
third nipple confirmed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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