We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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