i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
