Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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