Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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