There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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