somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
