My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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