I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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