It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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