I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
