if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
