i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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