I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
