Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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